JESSEE'S WILDFLOWERS

Nineteen years ago today, I lost my dad to cancer. Four years ago, we named our daughter after him (with a little extra “e” for her own identity). As soon as I knew I was pregnant, it was a simple decision, even before knowing if a girl or boy was on the way. That first anniversary after Jessee Kenna arrived was tough, even the couple of days leading up to it. It broke my heart that my girl would never get to know my dad or that he wouldn’t get to hold her. Being only a couple of months after her arrival, I am sure postpartum had no weight on the emotional impact (ha). A little seed was planted in my mind to continue his celebration of life, and a new tradition was born: TO JESSEE FROM JESSE. I wanted this girl to see the beauty and strength behind her name. Each year, I get a colorful bouquet (preferably wildflowers, as Dad would have liked) to celebrate his life, her life, the connection, and bring joy to the day. This year, I made a new concrete vase to complement today’s arrangement and more throughout this spring. Thank you to @inthemeadowdesigns for creating beautiful arrangements each year. Grief isn’t linear; you just learn how to carry it better over time. It is sneaky. A song, a picture, a random memory from the back of your mind can spark a smile or tears. Sometimes it is just a roll of the dice on which one hits. Loss is heartbreaking no matter the connection, from a parent or child to a partner or friend, and the list goes on. The love, the memories, and the ways we celebrate life continue with us.